Wednesday, July 6, 2011

it began before it begins

Tomorrow, I will experience my first actual class that will accrue hours for my yoga teacher certification. It's a tech session, which means, there is a topic/technique/concept covered and discussed for an hour and a half. I get to pick which of these I want to take as I go along. In addition to these, I have a core session (comparable to homeroom) each week that covers the basics: anatomy, sanskrit, namas and niyamas. There are also reports due each week. In August, I'll have to report on downward facing dog and Samtosha.

On top of all that, I get to take workshops, visiting instructor weekends, and take free yoga classes - all included in my tuition. Pretty awesome.

In tomorrow's tech session, we're studying magical mudras, or hand positions. I'm very excited.

But what's so wonderful about this journey is that I haven't taken a single class yet, and those of you who read this blog have followed me so far already.
  • Before even stepping foot into a class, I'm finding myself reacting to certain situations differently. I'm stopping myself from losing my patience when I would usually let it fly off the handle.
  • I often find myself repeating: I have no control over this, so let it go. It will work itself out. I don't rush the clock, I try to find joy in the present moment, even if I'm bored out of my skull.
  • I'm eating less. By trying to focus on serving others and being selfless, I eat less because I know I only need a certain amount to get through the day. I don't need to eat so much that someone has to roll me to my next destination. 
  • In moments of conflict between friends and lovers, I've found myself admitting fault sooner with a humbled voice and heart.
  • I've noticed people peeling out of the woodwork to ask my advice, to use my listening ear, to open up to me honestly about sensitive subjects - in discussion with these people, I feel more compassionate and humbled than ever.
  • Instead of calling my friends to tell them something crazy that just happened, I am calling them just to listen because I thought of them and I wanted to know how they are doing.
  • I've also watched the function of most of my friendships change, for better and for worse. This has been one of the most emotional experiences I've ever had. 
More than anything, though. There is a lot of schtuff coming to the surface. I'm seeing all of these things I've never seen before. I'm noticing unhealthy habits, choices, fears, actions, words, and thoughts that I would usually excuse as that's just how I am behavior. But it's who I have become, not who I am. There is a really cool, pure, peaceful me underneath all that unhealthy stuff and I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to find it.

Yup. All this has happened and I haven't taken a single class yet. Imagine what classes are going to uncover. Oy-vey.

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