Thursday, March 7, 2013

this blog is about poop.

I found out yesterday that I have IBS and maybe also Celiac disease. I fondly refer my condition as "the crazy poops." I've always had a wacky tummy. Things go in great, but after that, it's pretty much a free for all. As I understand it, instead of my intestines doing their work at a nice steady rhythm, they function irrationally. Kinda like those folks who clap on 1 and 3.

I saw this coming. Last summer I took a 30-day eat clean challenge in which I was banned from consuming dairy, soy, alcohol, sugar and grains. It was fun to learn new recipes and eat like a super healthy beast. And you know what? I actually enjoyed using the bathroom. I read books and played games on my phone instead of racing in and out of there like there was a monster hiding in my toilet.

After the challenge ended, I slowly went back to my old ways -- but in moderation. I've kept a cap on my dairy and gluten consumption because I know my belly hates those guys. But for the love of everything that is holy, I adore cheese. Bread is sexy. If someone told me that I could only eat two things for the rest of my life, it would be bread and cheese. The end. 

I sort of asked for this, though. Actually, I definitely asked for it. A couple of hours before I visited the doctor, I was participating in a teleseries offered by Handel Group. This month-long series, lead by Elena Brower, is for yoga practicioners who are seeking the tools needed to realize their dreams and goals. In this first course, I was asked to write down three dreams for myself, in the present tense. I choose three different areas: career, food and romantic relationships. 

Guess what I said about food? 

"I eat smart. I love cooking healthy meals. My relationship with food is happy and nurturing. I see it as a source of energy and a gift."

Three hours later I was told I'd need to change my relationship with food. Big time. 

So, here we go. Time to figure out my triggers. Time to revamp the way I view food and how it fits into my life. While I'm mourning the likely loss of dairy and probable minimizing of gluten, I am pretty excited to like pooping. That'll be nice. 

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