So I've decided to use this blog as a release. I'm hoping, that by typing this out and sending it into the open interweb, I'll feel more accountable, more honest and thereby more collected in my moments of highest stress and passion.
- I'm high strung and controlling. I find myself to be happiest when I have something completely planned out and it all happens according to plan.
- I take my urge to control to the next level: when I'm certain that whatever it is that I'm planning isn't going to go the way I want it to, I explore every other possible outcome: negative and positive, no matter how outlandish they may seem. It makes me feel better to have thought of everything before it happens so that I can deal with it, whatever it might be.
- I love attention. I will do whatever I can, no matter how crude and lewd (and sometimes dishonest) it may be, to garner laughter or shock from my audience.
- I have a hot temper. Counting to five or 10 is nearly impossible. If I went on a walk before I talked to someone about something that made me upset, I would save my friends and family a whole world of hurt.
- I despise fibbing and lying and I assume that every time someone keeps the truth from me, they are doing it to hurt me. Badly.
- I don't designate my feelings before I share them with other people. I start to feel something and before I assess the situation and make a decision about what I should do, I call other people to see what I should do first. Thereby proving that I don't trust myself.
- I like to run away from my problems. Ever since the seventh grade. When things get sticky, I start planning a way out. And I'm pretty public about it. But often times, I don't actually leave until a couple years after I knew it was time to go.